Voices in My Head

The peer pressure I am under to join Facebook is enormous. Yes, everyone I know has a Facebook page, and yes, everyone I do not want to know has a Facebook page. I suppose this is what we all do now because we can’t shop anymore.

Regardless, there already is a Holly Northrop on Facebook. Whenever I do a Vanity Google, (what? we all do it) there she is. About five or six down.

She appears to be a normal person and I am sure she hates the living shit out of me, particularly if she has someone doing a professional background check on her. The first thing we all do is Google the name. Google her name and well, there I am. Sucks, I am sure, and she is probably really fucking happy that I am not on Facebook. Yep, I bet she HATES me and hates having to explain that she is NOT this lunatic photographer in New York.

Speaking of overactive brain waves, this clip of Elizabeth Gilbert: A different way to think about creative genius from TED is really helping me understand mental illness and creativity in a warm and fuzzy bipolar way.

On the opposite end of the inspirational practices is a little show out of Australia that raises many questions about art and our relationship with the creative process. Not Quite Art is from ABC Australia and makes me very, very happy. Series 1 is available for download in America.

But for now I am looking forward to getting lost in the Academy Awards and the brainless wasteland of The L word. Everywhere I look things are frightful. So frightful I can’t even watch the news and I love the news. Yes, everything could be worse and every day and I see just how worse it can get.

Jasmine’s living situation is about to take a drastic turn. We can no longer afford her and she cannot afford herself. One of five things is about to happen.

1. She and Oscar will have to move into a total hellhole somewhere in Pittsburgh. (Make sure to click on Street View and spin!)
2. She moves into her father’s house, transfers to the Staples in Cranberry and commutes with him everyday.
3. We buy something with her and she lives there.
4. She moves in up here with us where she and I can both be unemployed and drive Martha beyond batshit crazy.
5. We kill her, take Oscar and move on with our lives.

Currently in this total shitstorm of an economy we are entertaining option 3, but make no mistake option 5 is on the back burner.

Sometimes I feel like a cow on a farm that is located between two supermarkets. Both directions I end up as steak but in the day-to-day of it, I am unaware of the overall outcome of my existence.

Moo

At a time when no one wants to own one home let alone two, Martha and I are dog paddling through the open seas of the subprime mortgage storm waters. We are picking over the bones of false promises and broken dreams looking for a place for Jasmine.

The current state of housing crises does change one’s perspective concerning foreclosure property. Just about everything is in some pissed off banks hands so finding something that is just a normal home sale is the minority. It’s the flip side of what it used to be. There are more homes on the market in some state of foreclosure than in resale.

Jasmine broke into one place for us. Technically the Realtor left the basement door unlocked.

Current Fascination

She and Weber ran around the house like idiots taking photos so we could get a closer look. Weber was so convinced that they were going to be arrested, that she just wanted to wait outside on the porch. Jasmine called Weber her ‘Way to get caught Wingman’. They made it in and out without any trouble and Jazz managed to take forty photos. Amy goes in next week for an official showing.

But the overall reality is hard. As of January 2009 Allegheny County in Pennsylvania had 760 properties go into foreclosure. 1 in every 778 homes just for January 2009. Compare that to San Bernardino County in California where there were 7,802 properties or 1 in every 87 homes are fucked up in one way or another. The entire state of California had 76,761 properties go into foreclosure in January alone.

Sometimes, I long for the days when I used to make wishes on my necklace and the biggest worry in my life had to do with boys. Or my mother trying to kill me, but anyway….

Just what is the right decision? Martha said, “It all depends on what your risk tolerance level is.” It is cheaper, (like 1/3 of the cost of renting cheaper), for Jasmine to have a mortgage than to pay rent. Rent that she isn’t even able to afford now. We pay her rent. With a house or something like that, she could get a roommate and only have to pay utilities. And if she can’t come up with $200 a month then we are all screwed.