Voices in My Head

I’m about two minutes away from listening to John Lennon/Plastic Ono Band and just making a day of it, just to see where the music takes me. If someone told me that all I had to do was scream my fucking head off for twelve hours a day for one whole week and only then would I feel fine FOREVER, well then, lets pick the week and start the clock.

My fucking back hurts again and I’m so not happy about any of it.  It’s disruptive and distracting and I’m pissed off. Everything was just fine, well I guess not, but still. As I walked through my days over the past year (!) everything was just fucking fine.

Moving the hell on, in what I’d like to think of as perfect timing, Martha bought me a set of Martha Stewart knives. I now have a huge set of kitchen knives to do kitchen things with.  You don’t realize just how shitty the stuff you were using was until you get a newer, shinier and sharper version.  I have to pay attention or I’ll end up in the ER with a piece of my hand in a bag on ice. Hmmm, I bet they’d give me something to make my back stop hurting too.

Speaking of ice, we also bought Martha a diamond ring wedding band this weekend.  We are thinking about driving over state lines and getting hitched. About time after 18 years together.  (Isn’t that nuts?)  We are looking at October 31st as a date.  Sounds perfect. My wedding band is a combination of all the gold teeth Martha has purchased for me over the years.

So I’m in this last minute show in Beacon New York this Saturday (6-9).  It isn’t last minute for them, it’s last minute for us because we just heard about it.  We picked out prints; had them printed then overnight to us; cut, signed, labeled and framed them and THEN hand delivered them to a new gallery, within four days.

Upon arriving at the gallery, I managed within a record amount of time prove my inability to carry on a normal conversation.

“I’m a Holga Girl.  I have a Diana but I like the Holgas and I also have that Russian camera thing. I shoot Lamictal, Smena Symbol…”
“Baby, Lamictal is what you TAKE, what is it that you shoot with?”
“Oh right, Lubital is what I shoot with.  Drugs, cameras, it’s all the same thing.”

I laugh, Martha laughs, we leave.  See you Saturday!

I managed to lock myself out of my gmail account for two days last week and while I usually find shit like that uplifting, bringing on a certain sense of an enormous black cloud being lifted off of my back, this didn’t really do that for me.  All it really did was make my stress level shoot up even more, hence my back crap acting up.  I have lost the ability lighten up, pay attention or handle stress.  Awesome.